He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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