I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
