We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize