the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
