Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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