cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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