Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize