Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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