bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
