he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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