the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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