i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
