I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
