Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
