How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
