sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
