i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
