It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
