SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
