She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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