omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
