What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
