is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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