I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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