I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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