I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
