Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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