why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
