I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
