He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
