i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
