You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you didnt know i had herpes?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize