The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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