apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
