i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She told me I should be a condom model.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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