i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize