so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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