can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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