like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
