The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
