Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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