she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
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