I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Come on in and take your pants off
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