do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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