Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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