you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
