why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Randomize
