Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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