new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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