SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Two words: blizzard sex
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize