but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
