i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
