I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
