i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
