glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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