Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
