he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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