if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
tell me about the fingering
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